Ideally, the time to seek couples or marriage counseling is when you are experiencing significant distress in your relationship.  For some couples, it may feel like they cannot have a normal conversation that does not become an argument, while others do not communicate at all and are closed off from each other.  For some couples, marriage counseling, in conjunction or following individual counseling, is needed to work through past and present issues of trauma, betrayal, grief and loss, control, and alcohol and substance use.  

It is never too soon or too late to seek couples counseling.  Coming for couples counseling is a big step and takes courage. Please know that you are not alone in your relationship or marital difficulties.  Most of us have not had the models of healthy relationships and have not necessarily developed the skills needed to sustain and maintain our relationships.  If fact, many couples need training in understanding why and how they are being triggered by their partner and vice versa, education and practice on naming emotions and assertively and respectfully communicating their needs and dreams behind their conflict, and active and empathic listening.